Have you ever watched a craftsman hammer shaping marble chiseling away until it begins to form a shape into what the highly skilled eyes of the craftsman visions? He hammers and he cuts into the shapeless form working for days and weeks developing the small nuances which will set his statue apart from all others. After he cuts and hammers 
he then begins to buff each and every little part to make the marble shine in order to have the light dance upon the beauty of his creation. If you have ever stopped and looked closely at a well done statue you can see just tiny areas which the sculptor had to squeeze into with his tools in order to make the littlest cuts which define the greatness of his work. The statue has no other job but to allow others to look at what their creator has done. We are very much like a statue, although unfortunately we often don’t stand still long enough to see what the creator wants to chisel away. We begin to form into what we think others want us to be and the definition then becomes not who we were designed to be but one who is much shallower than what our creator wants form in us.
This contouring affects how our relationships are created and developed. Relationships are constant hammers molding and sculpting our personality. Every relationship we have will be a partial reflection of who we are becoming. Whether that relationship is a positive or negative influence, long-term or short, it still hammers us into an ever evolving molding of who we are. One of the heaviest hitting hammers is parents. Even if you had an absent parent that absent hammer made a resounding bang whenever it hit.
Learning to view ourselves in truth not just in the light of what others think we are or how we think we are, requires an honest look at the condition of our own heart. Observing the lies we have hammered into our hearts, believing what others have said instead of what God has said, shapes our heart into forms it shouldn’t have. The Lord gives us charge over the condition of our hearts. The attention of the heart is the sole duty of the individual, yet few people ever learn how to consistently sculpt their hearts in a intentional way. Proverbs 7:1-3 gives us a key to understanding how to go about ministering to your heart, "My son keep my words and treasure my commands within you. Keep my commands and live and my law as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; Write them on the tablet of your heart.” Learning the ways of God will guide you into finding peace within.
To begin the process of change first pay attention to your thoughts. We think so fast often we loose the thoughts we are thinking. First start out by paying attention to the ways you think about others. The past has already made the impact upon the way we process outside information. If you can slowly start by shuffling through the past patterns of "stuckness” in your thinking then that’s where you want to begin. For example if you have a parent who you think is always disappointed in you then most behaviors by that parent are filtered through the "disappointed” view of your thoughts. Whether there is any truth to what is happening or not, the truth seems to lie in the makeup of our past experiences and our thoughts about it. Evaluating your thoughts against the love of God will help you minister to the pain you feel. If you find it hard to focus on what your heart is putting out, then try to write down what is in your head. Writing down thoughts on paper, even if you later destroy your writings, will help you to place some boundaries on your thoughts. Paper has margins, which creates boundaries. In times of overwhelming situations or in the midst of continuing cycles of thoughts it helps to write down the thoughts that are flying so fast. This will help you to catch the thoughts you have. Your body will often feel anxiety before you cognitively realize what is going on. Anger is also this way. Before you can even cognitively realize that you are angry you are yelling and your face is turning red. Have you ever said "I just did it without thinking.” That statement is not entirely true. Your thinking is made up of so much from past experiences that you can think faster than you can acknowledge your thoughts. Nighttime, car rides and restroom times are some of the most common places where thoughts are rehearse. Developing the habit of paying attention to the places where you get "stuck” in your head will help you to evaluate what you think about yourself and others. "Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious--the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse” (Phil 4:8 The Message)
If you want to let the sculptor hammer and shape who you are then start out by changing how you manage your thoughts. Writing on your heart favorite scriptures or songs is the beginning steps to finding the truth of who you are. Your responsibility is to start the process and ask the Lord to help you. Then you can embark on a new path of understanding what God thinks about you, instead of what you think of you.
Spiritual Growth