Who we are is determined by the choices that we make every day. Our greatest challenge is to make choices which nurture better relationships with others and with Christ; yet, somehow, we continue to make the same recurring, self-destructing decisions. It is astounding how easily such poisonous and detrimental patterns can so skillfully permeate one’s rational thinking. All of us wrestle with making these types of choices in some area of our life, so no one is alone in this battle. Lord, thank You for Your ever present love, and the reminder that as we battle with the daily choices we must make in this imperfect world, that Your grace is sufficient for us.

We are all very quick to criticize the choices of others. We think such thoughts as “Why does he still smoke when he has been diagnosed with lung cancer? Why does she continue to eat sweets when she is a diabetic? Why can’t he see that his alcoholism is destroying him, his family, and his career?” Blaming others, even those we are closest to, and whom we love the most, is very easy. It removes the microscope from our own life, and focuses it on someone else. Jesus teaches us by saying, “How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? “ (Matthew 7:4 NIV)

In relationships with others, we do things we know will produce conflict. As an example, a couple is trying to decide on a new dining room suite purchase. The wife wants to buy it now, but the husband thinks it is too extravagant and says to wait. A major argument ensues, but when the wife later finds it on sale, she buys it without consulting her husband. She begins to rationalize her behavior by telling herself, “He will understand when he sees how much money I saved”; “I deserve this”; “He never lets me get what I want, and he buys whatever he wants”. Excuses only build resentment, and do not produce life in a relationship. They cause death, destruction, and distrust. Is this how we treat God in our relationship with Him? God gives us life, yet we choose death. “ … I have put in front of you life and death, the good and the curse. So choose life so you and your children after you may live.” (Det. 30:19 NLV) God wants us to choose whatever brings us life, yet we continue to reinforce the same wrong behavior with wrong choices. By our decisions, we are saying, “I’m gonna do what I wanna do, I when I wanna do it”. This results in death and destruction, rather than life in Christ.

When caring for ourselves, we become trapped in the same recurring patterns that produce the same detrimental feelings and results. For years, we have been bombarded with knowledge on how to live a long, healthy life, and the consequences of an unhealthy lifestyle; yet, we sift through only what we want to hear, and as a result create many health problems for ourselves later in life. We know that prayer time and Bible study develop our spiritual life and build relationships, and that spiritual growth produces eternal fruit; yet, they are low priorities in our daily choices. Jesus teaches us, “Don’t store up treasures on earth! Moths and rust can destroy them, and thieves can break in and steal them. Instead store up your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy them, and thieves cannot break in and steal them.” (Matt. 6:19-20 CEV). How many times have you said, “I can’t believe I just did that; but I’m never going to do that again!” Then you find yourself doing that very thing again and again. We all go through the cycle of feeling guilty and ashamed, and then wonder how we are going to change … and if we can.

The answer is simple … and powerful. Yes, we can change. Jesus, through God’s grace, can be our daily guide in conquering whatever holds us in bondage. Paul, the apostle, struggled with the issue of choices when he was serving the Lord. He wrote to the church in Rome, “I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway” (Romans 7:19 MSG). He complained about his struggles with unholy desires, and understood the frustration of having wants and wishes which hinder one’s destiny in Christ. But, Paul also knew about grace. He wrote to the church in Corinth that God said to him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9). The Lord did not stop loving Paul because of his struggles; The Lord used Paul to teach others and to work miracles. God’s grace covers every wrong choice we make. He has been with us from the beginning, and He knows our reasons for everything we do. He knows that we are weak and He is strong. We are more valuable to Him than anything He ever created. But in order to be free, we must accept the gift of grace He freely offers to us. This is the first step toward establishing new patterns, making better choices, and becoming who Christ has destined us to become.